Walk a little straighter Daddy
by Cheeto-Breath
Summary: Songfic looking back on JJ's past. Rated T for mentions of Alcoholism & Suicide. JJ/Hotch Friendship.
1. Chapter 1

**No I don't own Criminal Minds & I never will. Just a little songfic to describe a bit about JJ's past. The song is 'Walk a little straighter daddy' by Billy Currington. No copyright infringement or anything intended. Enjoy :) Slight Hotch/JJ, friendship or relationship, your choice.**

* * *

><p><em>I remember looking up<br>To look up to him  
>And I remember most o' time<br>He wasn't there  
><em>

* * *

><p>JJ's father had been a powerful man. He always had an extra dollar or two stashed somewhere. Unfortunately, that wasn't the only thing he had stashed. His hidden bottles of cider &amp; whisky would be found all over the place; the kitchen cupboards, under the bed...Hell, once she'd even found a bottle hidden in the washing machine. Jasper Jareau loved his children, but he loved alcohol just that little bit more. He wouldn't say he had a problem, he just liked to drink. As a child, young Jennifer found this amusing; watching her father stumble around the living room, tripping over her toys that were strewn all over the floor. Her mother however, didn't find it funny in the slightest. He was a man living in his own world.<p>

"He was totally oblivious." JJ whispered.  
>"To what?" Hotch replied.<br>"Us." She said, a hint of sorrow in her beautiful voice. "To me, my brother, my sister...my mom. He didn't realise what he had, not until it was gone anyway. He pushed us away. So far away, that he never got us back."

* * *

><p><em>I'd be waiting at the door<br>__When he got home at night  
><em>_& he'd pass me by to go to pass out in his chair_

* * *

><p>"I'm sorry JJ." Hotch said, genuine concern in his voice.<p>

"Every day after school, I'd run home and sit on the porch swing until dark. Every day I sat there waiting for him to get home from work, to tell him about my day, about the pictures I'd drawn for him...about how much I loved him" A small tear trailed down her cheek. "Every day he walked right past me. It was if I didn't even exist, I was invisible to him."  
>Hotch cast a downward glance towards the floor, memories of his own childhood beginning to conjure in his mind.<br>"My mom would try and get me to come inside. I never listened. I was waiting for the day he'd walk up to me and pick me up, kiss me on the forehead, tell me I was his princess, just like he used to. But it never happened."

* * *

><p><em>And I'd say<br>__Walk a little straighter daddy  
><em>_You're swaying side to side  
><em>_You're footsteps make me dizzy  
><em>_And no matter how I try  
><em>_I keep tripping and stumbling  
><em>_If you'd look down here you'd see  
><em>_Walk a little straighter daddy  
><em>_You're leading me  
><em>

* * *

><p>"I used to follow him outside in the evening after dinner when he went out for a cigarette. He'd stumble around the yard. We found it hilarious." A small smile graced JJ's pale lips as she thought back. "Watching him trip and curse. My brother used to leave things lying around deliberately, just so we could laugh when he fell. I used to mock him to make my sister laugh. I'd walk behind him, copying whatever move he made. My sister would be in stitches. Until my mom saw. She got mad. Like, really mad. She said we'd all end up turning out like him if he didn't stop. But he didn't listen. He never did. Eventually she'd had enough."<p>

"She left you?" Hotch queried, slightly upset that a woman would leave her three children in the custody of a man who clearly couldn't look after himself, let alone kids.  
>"Yep. And she never looked back."<p>

* * *

><p><strong>I don't know if I should carry on to the next verse? I've started writing it but if nobody likes it then I wont bother &amp; I'll just leave it here. Have a great day , thanks for reading:) 3 <strong>


	2. Chapter 2

_**Still don't own Criminal Minds, my 11:11 wish obviously didn't come true.**_

* * *

><p><em>He stumbled in the gym<br>__On graduation day  
><em>_And I couldn't help but feel  
><em>_So ashamed_

* * *

><p>"I couldn't wait to get out of that hell hole. As soon as I reached 18 I had my all my stuff packed and ready to go. I had nothing to wait around for. I left home the same day as my graduation. Nobody thought I'd graduate, but I did, I proved them all wrong Hotch."<p>

"I know you did sweetie. Everyone must have been so proud, I know as a father I would have been." Hotch whispered.  
>"Ha." JJ scoffed. "Proud? Please. He barely stayed 5 minutes. But he noticed the looks...He turned up to my graduation drunk Aaron. Totally piss drunk. That was supposed to be MY day. And he even managed to ruin that. He stole that away from me."<br>Another crystal tear trailed its way down JJ's cheek. Hotch raised his hand ever so gently and brushed the stray tear away. He said nothing, allowing her to continue. He'd never seen her hurt this much before, and, in return, it hurt him.

* * *

><p><em>And I wasn't surprised a bit<br>_When he didn't stay  
><em>_He stumbled out before they called my name__

* * *

><p>"Everybody stared. Everybody pointed. And everybody laughed. He got angry, so he stormed out and left. He just left me, standing there." JJ bit her lip thoughtfully. "And that was it. That was his last chance. He blew it. There was no reason to stay there anymore."<p>

Hotch's heartstrings were being tugged all over the place. How could someone do that to their own daughter? Betray and humiliate her in front of an entire room full of people?  
>"What about your brother? And your sister?" Hotch pressed carefully, knowing that the subject of her sister was a difficult one for her to talk about.<br>"Jamie left years before I did. Just like my mom. I couldn't blame him though. He wanted a job, a family; a life. And Jessica..." JJ trailed off. Fresh tears sprung to her eyes.  
>Hotch gave her second to compose herself.<br>"Jessica hung herself. She couldn't see any other way out. She was bullied throughout school because of him. She felt so alone. All because of that bastard. I just..she was so young..I just wish I could of noticed, I could of stopped her, maybe if she knew how much I loved her, if only I'd of told her.."  
>"You listen to me Jennifer," Hotch interrupted. "Don't you dare blame yourself. Do you understand me? You were a child, there was nothing you could have done. Nothing you said or did would have stopped her from making that decision. We deal with cases like this all the time, you know that JJ."<br>JJ closed her eyes and lifted her head towards the ceiling.  
>"She knew how much you loved her JJ. And she loved you just as much in return. Don't you ever forget that."<p>

* * *

><p><em>And I thought<br>__Walk a little straighter daddy  
><em>_You're swaying side to side  
><em>_It's not just me who's watching  
><em>_You've caught everybody's eye_

* * *

><p>JJ's eyes slowly fluttered open, but she didn't make eye contact, instead she seemed to look past him, as though he wasn't even there.<p>

"You know," JJ began, "He even turned up drunk to Jessie's funeral."  
>A dark anger suddenly built its way up inside Hotch's chest.<br>"What!" He seethed.  
>"Yep. Guess it wouldn't surprise you if I told you he didn't stay for that either."<br>But it did. It did surprise him. Missing your daughters graduation was one thing, but missing your other daughters funeral, as well as turning up drunk, what in the hell was wrong with this man!  
>"After the funeral I rarely ever saw him. I moved in with my aunt. I left him my number and address...he never spoke to me again."<br>"Well then he's an idiot JJ." Hotch said sincerely. "He will never have any idea what he's missed."  
>"And exactly what has he missed?" JJ asked.<br>"He's missed his beautiful little girl become the most gorgeous, hard working, courageous woman I've ever met. And I mean that JJ. I really do."

* * *

><p><em>And you're tripping and stumbling<br>_And even though I've turned 18  
><em>_Walk a little straighter daddy  
><em>_You're still leading me__

* * *

><p><strong>1 more chapter to go, just to finish it off. Thank you so much for the reviews guys, honestly didn't think I was going to get any, so thank you so much. 3 <strong>


	3. Chapter 3

**Final chapter. Thank you so much for reading guys, it really means a lot x**

* * *

><p><em>The old man's still like he always was<br>__But I love him anyway_

* * *

><p>"As stupid as it sounds, deep down, I know...I know I still love him. That's stupid right?" JJ asked quietly.<p>

"No JJ, it's not stupid at all. No matter what he did, or rather, what he didn't do for you, he's always going to be your father. Nothing will ever change that."  
>JJ nodded slightly.<br>"Believe it or not, he never used to drink. Always swore against it, said it would turn him insane. Guess he should have stuck on that path huh?"  
>"People choose their own paths Jen, sometimes they just turn out to be the wrong ones. It doesn't matter which path you choose, it's whether or not you have the strength to turn and go back when you take the wrong one."<p>

* * *

><p><em>If I've learned one thing from him<br>__It's my kids will never have to say_

* * *

><p>"I saw it all Aaron. I saw the way drink destroyed him. I lived with it every day for 12 years. And that's how I knew. I knew the first night Will turned up drunk. I just knew. I tried to brush it off. I put it down to him being frustrated with me coming back to work. I got that, I did, but, when he kept turning up every night drunker than the night before..."<p>

JJ trailed off. Hotch remained silent, not certain if she was going to finish her sentence, but giving her the chance to none the less. She cleared her throat, which had become coarse from the crying.  
>"It was like everything was repeating itself. I told him to stop. Begged him too. But he wouldn't listen. I told him if he carried on I'd leave him. But he did, he did carry on. Just like my father. I couldn't have Henry in that situation Aaron, I just couldn't, not after everything I'd seen. I couldn't do that to my baby boy. I told him to leave. He did, and I haven't heard from him since."<br>Fresh tears spilled down the young profilers porcelain face.  
>"Oh JJ. Why didn't you tell us? We could have helped you."<br>"I know. I just, I don't know, I just didn't want to seem weak."  
>"Weak!" Hotch said astounded. "Jennifer Jareau, you are not and never will be such a thing. And I know that for a fact. Even ask Reid, I'm sure he'll prove that statement correct."<br>A small smile gracefully danced across JJ's face.  
>"Thank you Ho..Aaron, for everything, really."<br>"You're most welcome JJ. You know, if you don't fancy being alone tonight, you could stay around mine if you like? I mean, you don't have to, but, it'd be nice for Jack and Henry to spend some time together; they haven't seen each other in while." Hotch asked hopefully, trying not to sound too pushy. The poor woman had been through so much these past few weeks, he didn't want to raise her blood pressure any higher by backing her into a corner.  
>"That sounds lovely Aaron." Jennifer replied.<br>"I can even make you breakfast. How does pancakes topped off with golden syrup and chocolate chips sound?"  
>For the first time in what seemed like an eternity, a genuine giggle escaped the blondes' mouth.<br>Hotch smiled genuinely at her.  
>"That sounds like a deal bossman. I'll go get Henry and pack some of his bottles. I'll be round at 8?"<br>"See you at 8." Hotch replied.  
>"Thank you again Aaron. Really. You honestly have no idea how much this all means to me."<br>With that, JJ left Aarons dimly lit office and made her way to the elevator.  
>Her dad and Will may have been lost causes, but they were the past.<br>Now it was time to look forward, for her sons' sake.  
>If her father had taught her anything, it was that life was far too short to take the people you love for granted. Sure, at points in her life she'd tripped and stumbled, but she'd done the most important thing of all; she'd gotten straight back up and carried on.<br>As long as she had her baby boy and her BAU family, Jennifer Jareau knew for a fact that with them by her side, she'd never fall again; no matter where she was or what she was doing, her family would always be there to catch her.

* * *

><p><em>Walk a little straighter daddy<br>_You're swaying side to side  
><em>You're footsteps make me dizzy<br>_And no matter how I try  
><em>I keep tripping and stumbling<br>_If you'd look down here you'd see  
><em>Walk a little straighter daddy<br>_You're leading me  
><em>Yeah walk a little straighter daddy<br>_You're leading me__________

* * *

><p><strong>Again guys, mega thanks for reading :) x<strong>


End file.
